Casino Legend Wayne Newton's Car Wash, Stars & TSA Unite on Frisking
by Jack Prophet | Oct 18 2011
Casino Headliners Talk TSAConsider it one last farewell performance in your memorable Las Vegas
casino trip. No, it's not the surly cab driver who barely got you alive to McCarran airport and then drives off with your bags. No, it's not the disinterested check-in staff on the discount airline that charges you for peanuts. Instead think of the helpful stars of Las Vegas stages who in a fit of public service illustrate just what to do while being groped by TSA airline security.
Don't like being groped? No need to fly then when you can play at Bodog's state of the art online casino ! Enjoy the best in online slots and table games like Caribbean Stud and Blackjack from the comfort of home.McCarran airport just might be on to something with its approach to creating some good humour in what is otherwise a typically annoying and often humiliating experience. The out-of-the-box management folks at the airport have recruited such stars such as Carrot Top and the Blue Man Group to appear in their advisory videos. The stars demonstrate through a series of humourous sketches why you shouldn't bring a gun, road flares, or weed etc. through airport security. The helpful videos are displayed in the area where passengers line up to go through security. Normally the planners at McCarran just stick
slot machines in any underutilized space so they definitely deserve some kudos here for the unselfish approach.
The video shorts also include medieval knights from the Excalibur Casino and Hotel checking their swords in oversized baggage, and magician Lance Burton making coins appear from thin air and drop into that little plastic tray thingy. On the whole the program seems to have been a success in soothing stressed flyers who are about to play a little plane
roulette. Needless to say the parade of B-listers won't make up for the bad food and overpriced hotel that the passengers no doubt endured, but it just might make them want to come back.
Casino Entertainer Newsflash: Wayne Newton Found Alive and Needs Work!In some good news, it appears that casino legend Wayne Newton's entertainment juggernaut is still rolling along as strong as ever! It seems that the velvet voiced entertainer is opening his sprawling home to, well, Wayne Newton fans. Recently approved building plans filed with Las Vegas municipal authorities reveal that the entertainer is vastly expanding the present public space on his grounds. Currently the only real thing open to the public is the 70,000 square foot theatre featuring you-know-who.
No word on whether there will be any
baccarat tables or
penny slots, but apparently there will be a Wayne Newton themed carwash. That's right. Just when you thought that things couldn't get any better it appears that anyone can drive their car, RV, and even tour bus through a Wayne Newton carwash on the property. Distressingly it has meant that the Wayne Newton Zoo and the Wayne Newton Car Museum will now need to be smaller, but it is about keeping the fans happy and in some cases clean.
The other significant attraction will be the main house itself which will be turned into a museum featuring memorabilia collected over a 50 year career. Items on display will include a champagne glass once drunk from by Frank Sinatra, a guitar once played by Elvis, and well you get the picture. Not necessarily the Smithsonian in terms of the collection, but nonetheless of possible interest to someone, somewhere.
However, Newton deserves to rest on his laurels after working tirelessly over a half century long career in a town that buried many of his contemporaries before their appointed time. The man known as “Mr. Entertainment”, who unfortunately appears to have used Mickey Rourke's cosmetic surgeon, still has a jump in his step and a song in his heart. And now one can visit his very home to hear him perform and to get your vehicle washed and waxed. Danke Schoen!
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